In the morning when we got up I felt really tired
He woke me up and started to touch me
I understood he wanted to do it again but I didn't felt like it
I got up really quickly on the bed and then jumped to the floor
While doing that I thought it was something a little girl would do
Not a girl who had just lost her v-card
I headed to the bathroom because I really needed a shower
I felt dirty, used
I got in and locked the door
I was afraid he would try to get it
The thought of him getting in and make me do it again scared me
I didn't want to do it again, I felt bad about myself
I got into the shower and the warm water felt great down my body
Someone knocked at the door
I though it was my best friend so I didn't answer
She had heard everything and she was perfectly aware of what I'd done
She had done just the same with her boyfriend - Yeah, I heard that too
I washed my hair and my body
Twice
And after that I still felt dirty
I grabbed a towel and headed back to my bedroom to put some clothes on
I was hoping to find him there lying on the bed
But I didn't
I heard my best friend calling from the kitchen
When I got there she was holding a piece of paper
I recognized his handwrite right away
"LAST NIGHT WAS GREAT BUT NOW I HAVE TO GO. I'LL CALL YOU AND WE CAN TALK THIS THROUGH"
Suddenly I felt really bad
I was disgusted
He had used me and came back to his girlfriend like nothing had happen
I knew he was going to continue with her
But I couldn't continue with my boyfriend
I talked to him and we broke up
It was for the best
Even after all this time I feel bad about this whole situation and me and that guy talk sometimes but I'll never forget that he did this to me
It's impossible for me to pretend this didn't actually happen but sometimes I do it
I think as myself as still a virgin
And I get some peace of mind when I do that
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